RazZ's Rant

April 30th, 2007

Customer Support: It's even better than beating your wife

You know how there just those days where you want to skin some innocent bastard alive, just so you can smile a little more inside.

Today was one of those days. I really thought today would be the day I snapped. I mean really snapped. Not the usual "RazZ gets a little cranky and makes you cry" snap, I mean fucking flipped out, bat shit crazy, stab someone with my small toe snap.

I'll spare the details, but the breaking point is when the girl working the counter at the Kwik-E Mart looked at her friend and said "But isn't the moon, like, made of dust."

I didn't say a word the entire drive home. I was just too angry. People that slow should naturally forget how to breathe, right? Am I wrong on this one?

So I waltz in the door, and the wife says, "Call the cable company. We're not getting all the HD channels we should".

This, kids, is salvation at it's finest. I bet you would have never come up with such brilliance on your own.

In a split second, I realized something. The poor bastard on the other end of the line is being paid to talk to you. That means, they can get FIRED for saying the wrong thing. They've got to be nice, and swell, and super at ALL TIMES.

Oh....RazZ had a field day.

I called this poor bastard every name in the book. I think I mentioned something about his mother, a jackhammer, and a video camera. I let it all hang out. There's a good chance he's hanging from the edge of his cubicle, legs dangling through the hole in the floor made by the monitor he crashed down in disgust before going suicidal.

I was out to fuck this guy up. I wanna know that I send him to therapy.

And why you ask? All because the girl at the Quick Stop said "But isn't the moon, like, made of dust."

But I don't want you to go away on some random joke. No no. This Rant has a lesson.

Had a bad day? Call customer support. They've got no choice but to take all the shit you can pile on, and smile wider than Michael J. Fox sways in the breeze.

RazZ writes every....whenever....for IllitPress.com, as well as being the editor-in-chief, and an all around kick ass guy.

Don't agree with him? Then drop him a line @ webmaster@illitpress.com