I....uh...uh.....Wow. You're all fucked.

Boxing Day, '07

I know it's been a while, so let me recap what's gone on in the last 7 months or so.

Recap #1

Holy Shit!!! She's pregnant!

Recap #2

Holy SHIT!! I'm sober!

Recap #3

HOLY FUCK!! RAZZ IS MARRIED!!!

Good. Now we're all caught up.

I know I haven't been around lately. I know you've been looking for guidance. I know I should have been there more for you.

Wait. No....that's a speech I'm writing for my son after the divorce.

But....it kinda fits...I mean...

Anyway...listen kids...

You're all screwed.

I mean....We all know RazZ bred. It's popping out any time now. And I realize children seem cute at first.

But....are any of you grasping the seriousness of what's happened here?

My father is a smart ass.

I'm an asshole, a prick, and most likely (according to the DNA tests) the devil himself.

If evolution has anything to do with this?

I've doomed every last one of you.

I mean....I'm cool with the whole spawn of Satan idea. Watching Damien....er....RazZ II torture all of you sadistically? That's just good wholesome entertainment for his parents.

But you guys are fucked.

I.....I mean....I even like....rather, kinda like some of you dirty little bastards.

Not much mind you. I'd probably have each of you killed provided I could watch. But some of you are amusing. And some even have a half decent rack.

But.....

Fuck....

All I'm saying is....you've got about 2 months....

Run now, or you'll be fed a pineapple in the arse a la Hitler in Lil' Nicky.

RazZ writes every....whenever....for IllitPress.com, as well as being the editor-in-chief, and an all around kick ass guy.

Don't agree with him? Then drop him a line @ webmaster@illitpress.com